waiting
by ivan n'scent
Summary: "There are things better left unsaid, so she wrote it down instead. Yeah, she's stupid and I'm a sucker." (Five short stories series) [one-sided lenxmiku for fuck's sake]
1. for forever

Sometimes I wish I could rip my heart into pieces, just to try and understand why you like doing it so often.

-SissyStuff, Tredecim.

* * *

It was about high time to leave the coffee shop. The morning sun climbed up too far on the sky already, and yet the person he was supposed to meet was still nowhere. He glanced at his watch and tutted - he was looking at it from time to time, hoping that she would pop out somewhere. The second hand of the clock moved to the next bar.

 _Dot. Dash. Dash. Dash. Dash. Dot_. He might as well try counting the customers coming inside the cafe. It was taking her long enough. The mug of latte he ordered half an hour ago was already empty, and he could feel the eyes of the waiter burning at his back now. Maybe he should order again and indulge himself with flavoured caffeine he never enjoyed. Raising his hand, he summoned the waiter and asked for another cup of coffee. This pleased the waiter, though. He went back staring at the window.

He rested his hand atop the polished wooden table, while he propped up his elbow on the arm rest. He leaned his chin on his balled fist and stared languidly at the quiet street outside. It was, indeed, the most relaxing place in town; sadly, he discovered this place only today. Shame on him, of course. The cobbled streets and the small shops alongside it rang bells of antiquity and romance. Trees of about seven-feet high stood aligned at the middle of the pavement, and under them were wooden benches that if not occupied by people, perched by doves. This place was truly romantic, he thought, smirking against his fist as he stared at it more.

He was about to comment how mushy the entire scene looked under the glaring sun, when the glass doors dinged and came in a girl with dishevelled teal hair. The woven bag slid down from her arm as she pushed the heavy door, struggling so much to get inside properly. Once she stepped in the cafe, she hopped aside to dodge the door yanking backwards, squeaking like a chipmunk as she did so. It entertained him so much to watch her like this, to look stupidly cute in public. The funniest thing was that she was always oblivious of the attention she got - and he liked that side of her very much.

"Over here, stupid," he called, waving a hand to her. She stirred and looked around until she saw him. Her face began to grow red, realizing that she was being watched by his sly blue eyes."No, don't give me that look. You're late, so I should be the one getting mad here." She only creased her eyes - was she glaring already? It hardly looked like a glare! - as she marched to him. "So..." he began when she finally sat in front him. Everything seemed to be from a romantic-comedy drama, other than it was not. "Any wishes for your best friend before his big day tomorrow?"

She rolled her eyes and tutted, "I'd rather reserve my message for your wedding tomorrow. I am your best woman, Len. It's just too stupid, you know, to do all this stuff. I should've not asked you to watch _'Love, Rosie_ ', sucker."

"Aw, that's so sweet. That's the reason why I love you so much, stupid. Now, let's go to business. Is the reception and catering fixed by now?" he smiled at her, albeit he was doubting himself a little now. This wasn't the business he wanted to talk about.


	2. for the perfect timing

"I can't believe you're getting married tomorrow," she chuckled, walking beside him under the shade of the trees. It was half past one now, they were going out to find a proper restaurant to dine. Since she came inside the cafe, he kept on mentioning that he wouldn't want a mug of coffee for lunch. He did it on purpose, though, because the place outside was serene and almost empty. Len Kagamine wished to have a private time with her.

He shot her an amused smile, keeping his hands in the pocket of his khaki pants. They were basically dawdling along the cobblestone streets, finding luck to spot a good restaurant with few people. Whilst looking, they were enjoying the chirping birds, the cool shade and the clicking of their heels against the ground. The heatless sun peered at them from the leaves of the trees, showering their faces and torsos with small irregular orbs of light. Like what he said earlier, everything felt like it was from a romantic-comedy drama on TV. Nevertheless reality was far from that.

"I can't believe it too," he replied, turning his face back on the road. A hundred meter away from them, the row of trees ended. Ahead lies a roofless open space that must lead to the downtown's square. Hopefully, there should be a place where they could have their lunch. "Aren't you hungry with all this walking? I'm bloody tired."

"We've been walking for ten minutes. _Only_ ten minutes. Don't be such a drag," he could feel her roll her eyes with that retort. She usually would do that whenever he would say something to annoy her. "We should enjoy _Petit Prague,_ Len. It's really beautiful here."

"Yes," he instantly said. " _Petit Prague_ is certainly your definition of a romantic place. Just a reminder, we aren't dating. I'm going to marry tomorrow, so keep your fantasies for yourself."

Miku tiptoed and grabbed his ear, then tugged him down her level while he yelled in pain. He could see her raging face very well, her cheeks were burning red again. Len stopped yelping as he let himself to get lost with her wonderful expression. He would miss hanging out with her like this, annoying her like this, talking to her like this. Miku was his best friend and his bride-to-be was jealous of her, but Miku was never confronted about it. His best woman was not at fault.

"Hey, stupid," his lips parted to whisper this, their faces were really close. Time stood still now for they suddenly neglected the clattering of wheels of the horse-drawn carriages meant for tourists. "Let go of my ear or I'll kiss you," within a split second, he saw her face turned red as an apple. However, before he could comment on how funny she looked, she slapped his face away; hence, he remembered that her hands were moving as if they were traveling on the speed of light.

Miku quickly grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back. "I'm sorry," she said, voice wavering. "I was just surprised...you know me, I hate those kind of jokes," she was trying to explain herself when Len turned around and pulled her into a hug. Her face was buried against his shoulder. He didn't know what she was thinking now; he couldn't care. He held her close to him as he looked around, there were few people walking near them. This was just like in a bloody romantic movie, he thought and gently pushed her away.

"No, it's fine. I'll really miss that a lot. I bet after the night of my marriage, I can never stay out later than eight in the evening," he shrugged, tugging his sleeve further up on his shoulder. The green stripes of his shirt looked totally crumpled now, especially the part she clawed on. "So slap me as much as you want. But shall we get moving? I don't want to eat you, you know. I'm not a monster. And you're not my type."

"Len!" she hit him on his arm again, face still red from the earlier taunt. "Stop saying those...those things! They are...improper. You're...ridiculous!"

"I am," Len dropped an arm on her shoulder and pulled her forward. "I'm enjoying your company, no biggie. No other reasons."

For a minute, they exchanged silence. Until she spoke up her thoughts, "You wouldn't mind if I give you an advance wedding gift?"

Now, that's the catch. He thought he was the only one with unfinished business here. Well, of course, her gift was entirely not the reason why he was with her today. "Sure," he slid his arm off her shoulder casually. "But you have to feed my tummy with a good steak from _that_ restaurant, stupid. And then we're quits."

He would get down to business soon. Patting his flat stomach, he sighed and looked forward.


	3. for it to be said

His golden fringe fell above his eyes as he neared his face to the menu. None of the listed dishes were familiar to him, but he was pretty sure that these were the common food served in this place. The wafting scent of cuisines didn't help him choose as well. Giving up the pretense that he knew what to order, the menu was shut close and put aside. Miku, on the other hand, seemed to be caught in her own world, with brows almost knitted as she stared at the menu. Green eyes raked further down, then back on the top of the second column.

 _"Beats me,"_ thought Len for he was clueless what was happening. With a sigh, he looked around the restaurant and watched the people instead. They were all quiet, speaking not louder than a murmur. Most tables near them were unoccupied, so all of the customers were scattered like gas molecules. He and Miku were seated beside the window, and the nearest customers to them were like...three tables away.

Why he was in this unfamiliar place, he wasn't sure. Maybe because he wanted to talk to her about things related to his wedding - she was one of his wedding planners. And again, he still had a personal _stuff_ he mean to tell her. _Petit Prague_ was Miku's grandmother's town, and as a child she loved to stay here over the weekends. Today was extra special though, it was her fifth day here. Miku told him that she was celebrating her granny's death anniversary here, via SMS.

'Petit Prague', as the name implied, was a small town designed to look like Prague. Bricked houses and establishments were all around the place, fancy chimneys where Santa's butt couldn't fit in were also notable. The cobblestoned streets were also a replica from the pretty roads and crossroads of Prague. It was a place with few to no skyscrapers, so the serene blue sky during a fine summer's day could be seen perfectly. Lots of wooden benches sat all over the place, thus walking around wasn't bothering.

Len was invited here countless times during their teenage years, however he consistently refused because he was busy courting the girl he used to like back in high school. Hatsune Miku was Len's best friend, anyway. They were like...raised together ever since they were born. Okay, so Len never had seen this place. Other reason why he missed this place was...it was quite far from the city. It just happened that the hotel were he was staying was near this place. It was his bride's idea to marry out of town. The whole setup strangled his savings so much, it was literally screaming _'weddings are ridiculously expensive!'_

"Len, what's your order?" he looked back at her, bravely meeting her lively green eyes with feigned innocence. Miku was his best friend who never managed to like him all these years they were enduring each other's faces. He found it amusing.

He raised his hand to the level of his mouth and opened his mouth. "Steak," he whispered loudly, respecting the peaceful ambience in the beanery. "But I didn't see one from the menu."

Miku rolled her eyes - for the third time today, as she tucked a lock of her teal hair behind her ear. "Don't make me laugh. Pretty sure I told you that they do not serve meat on Fridays." She raised a hand and a waiter came running to their way, "I'll order for you." When the waiter took her order, she pointed out names on the menu that he didn't know what on earth were they, and the waiter left as lively as he came.

"Well," she propped her elbows on the table and somewhat leaned down for support. The neckline of her clothes kind of showed her collar bones, and they were sexy. He knew that, of course. Len managed to see them; they were childhood friends, after all. "I need your company later. I'll drop by the dep store before going home and have my beauty rest."

"What about your gift? You told me you'd give it in advance," he plopped his back on his seat and slid down lazily. "It was keeping me excited, you know. Give it already, stupid. Don't make me wait."

Miku shook her head, smiling as she did so. Those pink lips was so genuine without any lip stick on. "You have to wait till later. Let's just spend this day enjoying,"

Len shrugged. He wasn't hanging out with her because he was worried for tomorow, or that he needed his best friend. This meeting was strictly for his business he couldn't clear.


	4. for you

Hatsune Miku was Len's best friend ever since that term existed. Known for being tomboyish back in their childhood days, they instantly clicked for liking the same shows from cartoon network and for playing the same games. Although she was boyish, she grew up becoming a girl, but that hardly mattered because they were good friends. By _'that hardly mattered'_ \- it meant that Len never developed stupid feelings for her, not even when puberty kicked in. So up until today, Miku and Len were homies. Nevertheless, that fact wasn't consistently true all throughout their years together.

Len could still recall it vividly; her aqua-blue hair quite made Miku's reputation back in high school. She was labeled _emo_ and treated like an _outcast,_ like all other kids with weird hair color were treated, but being her cool self she ignored people and their say. Miku was less tomboyish during their teenage years, and though she was thought a class freak, she was really sweet and pretty chill. She supported Len with every girl he liked and tried dating, giving him wise advice of what girls liked and hated. She was always there: talking to him, arguing with him, beating him down, tagging along his road trips, jamming with him, watching weekend band shows with him, and eating nachos with him. He was thankful for having a great buddy like her, so that was why when he noticed that he was liking her, Len refused to tell her what he felt.

It was during their last semester in college when he finally understood why he was always looking for her company. They took the same program and entered the same university, believing that they should stick together or else one of them would have a ruined college life. And it worked out though, yes, and he was grateful. But Len couldn't bring himself to confess his real feelings, because all the while they were together, Miku never showed any interest towards him. She had boyfriends before, but they were all short term relationships. They were just the same, couldn't stay with someone for a long time. Miku and Len talked about it, and it was agreed that both of them were feeling like they hadn't found their right pairs. This, however, disappointed Len. She was right there, Len could have her for all he wanted and all he got to do was try asking...but he was a pussy. He couldn't show his boldness to her. So without telling her what he really felt, Len remained being _homies_ with her.

Len tried to divert himself from liking her _\- no,_ from _loving_ her, and he met Gumi. She was a great lady, a good distraction from Miku, but Len never loved Gumi the way he _loves_ Miku. Whenever Miku would help him to fix his on and off relationship with Gumi, it would break his heart more, because he was hearing the love of his life urging him to fix his mess with another girl. He wanted to tell her that she was all he wanted, that Miku was the only girl he could love. However he was too afraid to try, too scared to risk their friendship, because she never showed any hints that she was harboring the same feelings, _ever._ Brokenhearted once again, he found himself enjoying Gumi's company more...and this continued until he and Gumi decided to marry. When he handed Miku the invitation, her smile never faltered. She never looked affected. That day, he decided to forget his feelings for her.

"This wouldn't change the fact that you made me eat some weird vegetable dish," Len's forehead wrinkled as he watched Miku crouch down to get some kitchen supplies. She was currently putting some goods in her cart, flipping her long hair back as she pushed her cart to the other side. "I should be going back to my hotel room, resting and chilling out. I thought you're going to buy something more important than...groceries."

"Are you saying these goods aren't necessities?" she instantly replied, sending him a glare. "You aren't cut out for a husband, you know. Stop complaining because you'll do this a lot once you live under the same roof with Gumi. You enjoyed the meal, sucker. I saw _it_!"

"Oh come on, stupid," Len tutted, running to her side. "You know how much I loathe veggies," he perked up his head and peered on her cart, it was entirely random supplies she was buying. "You're lucky I'm your sucker. Or else I could have left you here all by yourself."

"Ew, gross. Don't word it that way," she shrugged, and he chuckled. Miku pulled her woven bag to her and brought out a box wrapped fancily with a special paper. Without looking at him, she shoved the box to his chest and murmured, "You can go now. That's my advance gift to _you._ By _'you',_ I mean you, Len. Open it tonight and don't let others to see it, not even Gumi. Burn it. I'm pretty sure it won't change anything."

Len watched her walk ahead, leaving him behind. "Hey, stupid. Why can't you act at least sweetly? Haha - come on, I'll walk you home so finish this shopping already -"

"No, my boyfriend's going to meet me here. You wanna meet Yuu? I mean...his name is Yuu. But you have to rest now, the sun's glaring outside. Shoo!"

Boyfriend. Len chuckled, surprised with what he heard. He never knew she got one. And though he wanted to ask her about this guy she was dating, he was tongue-tied. Again, he felt so coward. Pathetic. Hopeless. Triumphant. Relieved. Len moved on. He lifted his head and watched her move away.

His feet moved on its own. Funny, thought he. Everything felt like it was a part of a silly romantic-comedy show. Len's hand seized her arm and yanked her back to him, gently holding him in his arms. "I have always loved you," he whispered low for it was a secret he wanted her to know. "Loved you more than a friend, since college years. I loved you. I did. But you know, things changed. But hey," Len pulled her away to see her face. She was gaping at him, eyes widely opened. "Thanks for being my first love, okay? I'll see you tomorrow, homie."

Len stepped back and waved a goodbye. He lost all guts to face her now. Pretty sure that her shocked expression would remain until tomorrow. Well, at least his business was done. He could marry without regrets tomorrow. All that was left to do now was to see her gift.

 _"Gosh, that confession went on too easy. I guess this is what they call 'moved on?'"_ Len exited the grocery store, unaware of the crying girl he left inside. Miku and her tears trickling down her face. Len was so clueless. _"I got over her, wow."_


	5. for the end

The sky was already dark when Len reached his hotel room. Since there was a silly superstition his sister was believing, he wasn't allowed to meet his bride the night before the wedding. But what could stop his love? Nothing. Pulling out his phone, he began typing the words he genuinely felt towards his bride. _'I love you. I can't wait to see you tomorrow,'_ he tapped the 'send' button as he watched the city from his balcony. The words he sent Gumi, they were true and free of guilt now, because he suddenly got over his first love.

His cold blue eyes gazed at his personalized starry night; the stars scattered on the ground - the city lights and the cars jammed along the highways, he languidly watched them. There was an odd feeling in his chest as he blankly stared at these lights, a feeling like he lost something really important. Everything was moving forward, him included.

"When I confessed what I felt for Miku, it was...emotionless," he let out a deep breath, pondering about what he told his best friend a few hours ago. "Do all guys feel the same? Is this what they call 'falling out of love'? Or is it because it never occurred to me that I no longer like her?"

Before he could answer his own questions, in which he never knew how to answer, his phone vibrated. It was displayed on the screen that he received a message from Miku, and like an excited kid, he quickly read her message.

 _Thank you. :)_

"She was such a nerd," he thought to himself, laughing quietly. Miku was always putting a smiley face in her text messages, and Len thought it was nerdy. "I told her I loved her and all I got in return was 'thank you,' " Len laughed louder this time. Well, it would be a big problem if she replied she loved him too, right?

Rising from being seated on the ground, he received another message - this time, it was from his bride, telling him that she was just as excited as he was. The blond just smiled at this message. Len dusted off his pants and walked inside his room, aiming to open Miku's gift before he sleeps tonight. The gift, though, was laying above his bed, still wrapped in a fancy velvety paper. Knowing Miku's ways, Len was expecting that she gave him a lucky underwear he should wear tomorrow. She did it once, the night before he proposed to Gumi, Miku gave him a new boxer shorts and asked him to wear it the next day. It was like a prank, but heck, that calmed him down. Who on earth would bother to buy a guy an underwear if she wasn't a wife or girlfriend? Miku, his best buddy. She even knew his size, lol.

Len leaped to his bed and pounded on the gift, unwrapping it ruthlessly. He didn't stop tearing its wrapper while his grin widened, letting his mind wonder what Miku had for him. When the box was already bare he lifted its cover, and the smile he had vanished.

 _Letters. A lot of them._ Len picked one and read it, a little puzzled with this gift he received. He was someone who hated reading letters, Miku knew this, but why was he reading it now? And the date written on the letters...they were written on the same days but different years. _February 14th_ and _December 27th._ None of these letters were written in the present.

* * *

Everyone was wearing beautiful dresses according to the wedding theme. The whole place was magical and pretty, and the music was absolutely calming and romantic. Len was standing near the altar, smiling at the entourage as they walked on the aisle. The groom displayed his most charming smile when he saw a glimpse of teal from this swarm of attendees.

* * *

 _Dear Len,_

 _Tomorrow, you're finally engaged with Gumi. I'm so happy for you. I will finally stop writing secret letters every valentines' day and your birthdays. A girl who truly loves you, someone who isn't afraid of showing you her love, is now here? I bet you're screaming in joy._

* * *

Len had his eyes on his best woman as she marched to him, her hair that was normally laid down was caught in a beautiful bun. Miku was so graceful as walked to him, that smile she was wearing was so natural. He knew, he realized - for the first time - that she was faking it all this time. Len wondered whether she was smiling genuinely right now.

* * *

 _If I'm like Gumi, will I also have the right to hold your hand and kiss you on the lips? That's sappy. I hate kissing, actually. It's so...unhygienic. But come to think of it, when you love someone, you do things you normally won't do. Just like you, Len. I never thought you'll date someone so serious, to such extent you want to marry her. I guess...that is love? Maybe I haven't loved you enough to let this feelings bring me out of my comfort zone, to tell everything I never told you. Perhaps this isn't love? Or maybe I'm just scared cat who is dreading the concept of love so much? Guess why. Because we're best friends and you will never like me more than that, yeah?_

* * *

Miku stood beside him and tapped him by the shoulder, flashing him a sheepish grin. "Congrats buddy, don't screw this up." Miku stepped backwards and quietly stood behind him, still smiling at the other attendees. Len assumed that Miku was fine with all of these. Like it would change anything if she wasn't, anyway? He knew she got over him, and he got over her. It was kind of ironic though, for their love was existing ever since, and yet they never had a fucking idea of its existence. Something ended when it hadn't started. Love fucked them up - _somehow._

"I know what I'm doing, stupid," he laughed, glancing at her with that sly look on his face. His smile, however, faded when tears ran down from her eyes. "Oh, _fuck._ Are you that happy for me, Miku? Calm yourself, Gumi's at the end of the aisle. Shush,"

" _Fuck_ you, Len," Miku half laughed and half sniffed. Len knew that she was having a hard time, but she was just a good actress. And then she straightened her back and blinked back her tears. "Yes, I'm _that_ happy for you, sucker. Can't believe that one of my dreams finally came true."

* * *

 _Since your engagement to her will lead to a wedding...soon, I want to tell you that you shouldn't mess this up because girls are so fucking sentimental. They get attached easily, that's why they are fragile. And it is their dream to walk down the aisle and exchange vows with the love of their lives, so stop being a sucker. Me too, I dream of walking down the aisle and seeing you wearing coat-and-tie...for a wedding, of course. Sadly, I'm not the bride. But it's okay. It will be okay._ _I will be fine._ :)

* * *

Len only nodded and turned his head to his bride marching towards him. Gumi was the most beautiful woman right now, and he knew that his heart belonged to her now. When he reached out for Gumi's hand, he heard these words spoken just above a whisper... Hushed but clear, it said, _'I'll stop waiting.'_

He didn't look back, he knew it was from her...the girl who loved him in silence, the girl he loved in silence. If this was a romantic comedy soap opera, he would ruin the wedding and run away with Miku...but no, _girls are fucking sentimental_ he couldn't leave Gumi. Moreover, he _loves_ her now. More than ever.

* * *

 _I'm happy for you. I really am._

 _I just...want you to know that...before every other girls you met...I liked you. I love you. But I know I'll never be someone who can spend the whole lifetime with you. You need someone stronger, braver; someone who isn't afraid of taking chances. I can only be a homie and I'm aware of that. You need someone...not me. Someone who's not..._ _ **stupid.**_

 _I love you, but I'll get over you soon. There's never an us, anyway._

* * *

Len blinked as he smiled at his bride. The priest asked him, and he said, "I do."

 **Thanks for reading.**


End file.
